1st of January 1860
My memory may be hazy yet the only thing I seem to remember from the first night was the cold. I can only remember bits and pieces of it because my thoughts were occupied. Even though now I wondered if that was me wilfully ignoring the situation at hand yet thoughts tend to wander as they always do and mine was taken up by my musings of the trails of pilgrims that went missing in the house sixty-odd years ago. I wanted to know why they sought the path they did and what were they thinking at the time. Since they took it upon themselves to take a trail to the edge of what is known. Given that as a scholar I’m bound to the ideas and thoughts that are known to both records them and store them. It was why the party of pilgrims held such a place of esteem in my mind to brave the unknown I thought blissfully what courage.
I was rocked from my thoughts when my companion Michel gently nudging me awake.
“Hey, you’re falling asleep.” He said in his usual soft voice. “You need to rest a bit we are almost in town I can get you a drink if you want?”
“I’m fine, “I said.
“You look as if you are going to pass out and this weather isn’t looking too hot Mr Norrich Sir”
“Fine, I snapped maybe just one.”
I didn’t mean to snap at him I loved Michel in all honesty to me he was exactly the one person I wanted in my life a man with the ability to take care of me. There were days where I wanted to profess my love to him to the world yet we couldn’t. to me though I think that was what made it sweeter and all the more tantalising. As he steered the carriage towards town I found myself nuzzling his bear-like shoulders.
The town its self was a rather quaint town it was the type of place that would remind me of the time I went to Sleepy Hollow in pursuit of another horror story. The only difference was that the town seemed to spread out from a willow tree at the centre of the place. It’s was said that the town only ever emerged from the tree mainly because the early settlers tried to upend It so they can fully claim the Earth yet they never really could. We stopped at an inn it was a quaint little place with all the markings of a small town behind it. It was well organised without a thing out of place I’d imagine if anything was the person who missed placed everything would never see the light of day again. This is why I hate small towns I thought. Nothing can ever be too strange. Even the streets looked too neat for my liking. We got our drinks and sat down. Not being thirsty I traced the rim of the glass while Michel took as many gulps as he could stomach. By the time I could talk to him he was already three glasses in and I only finished the first.
“So what do you reckon we’ll find in the house? Michel asked
“Hopefully nothing” I replied.
“See that’s what I don’t get you to love going on all these trips related to urban legends and ghost stories ad you hope to find nothing I’ll never understand that”. He said his look caught me by surprise this time since it was almost fun to see this strong guy assume an expression that wouldn’t be out of place on a puppy dog.
Yet to me his question wasn’t too wrong it was something I always found myself wondering to like as a scholar we are meant to do yet I always was excited to find out that everything was fine.
“So do you want to ask folks about somethin or what?”
“I suppose while in Rome right.”
I placed my hands on his cheek before saying good buy to him. My heart was in my chgest less because of the good buy but more because I felt that every outside display of affection I had for Michel was always monitored by someone who wanted to get me. Please let it be fine I winced as I retracted my hand and he repaid this display of affection. He knew by my eyes that I appreciated him repaying this.
I took out my notebook and I approached the bartender. Taken time to note everyone around me I had to wonder what the others were doing. One man was sitting hunched over the bar taking a drink ever so so slightly. He’s harmless I thought to myself the other two guys in the area was one guy who was aggressively trying to flirt with a woman who wanted none of it.
The bartender on the other hand looked as if he wanted nothing to do with the night he looked as if he was calculating the amount of beer he had to use. Knowing that he’d be short on that thing for the foreseeable future. If their was one thing I can take comfort in is the age-old notion that getting a bartenders attention in any pub is a trial and a half. Although I do wonder if it’s like that for e because Michele is the one who always gets me drinks. “Hey” I kept shouting to no avail the bartender just looked at the glass he was polishing.
It only took me around minutes of calling till I got his attention. It may have been five minutes yet given that it’s a bar the effects of personable time dilation would have kicked in meaning that in all actuality the only time that wuld of passed totalled to about five minutes.
And given my particular impatience with this, I chose a more direct approach of questioning since I wanted to get to the house as fast as I could or at least have it so I can get more out of him for less. So I asked for a drink out of politeness and asked about the house. He told me the following.
“See I remember them, pilgrims when I was a child an odd set of folks they was. It was not that they were ostracised or anything they just set themselves apart from the rest of us. Never really mingled with the townsfolk I reckon they hated us.”
“So can you tell me about the house? I asked
“Nothing that no one knows just some stuff about witches laying a long curse on the place and the story of the pilgrims real tragic that.”
“Yeah, can you get to that” I was getting impatient with his waffling?
I only calmed down when Michele sat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder yet with that display of affection and reassurance the room was tenser than normal. I knew the man eyeing the drink was planning something no wait was it the man who is still aggressively flirting with the woman. The only thing that took me back to the reality I was inhabiting was the desire to record all of this.
“Can you tell me more about what happened in the house?” I asked
“Not much to tell they arrived here on a night like this. Like you are now. They only spent a few days in town and I just remember them being the most unruly things I ever did see fuck I remember getting into a fight with the young lad. We were just playing outside when he came over you see and took the ball we were kicking saying it was going to serve God now. So I went up slapped him across the puss he fell to the ground and condemned me to hell. After he did that I had enough of this prick and just gave him the ball. And they were on their way in the morning.”
“So when were you told what happened in the house?” I asked.
“Two weeks passed since we were informed of their where abouts of these prospectors and it was in a rather unusual manner the only person to survive was the kid whom I had a few bouts with. Yet by the time we got to him he was a skeletal figure a shadow of the bright plump proud little boy we saw two weeks earlier he was. Everyone shuddered to think of what caused such a transformation. As much as he annoyed us we ever wished that upon him. Twas a dammed shame he died a few hours earlier than it was. My oul one lord bless her soul was prepared to take him in and everything.” “ I mean ain’t no one deserve that faith.”
As he finished hat last sentence he looked at us as if he wanted us to order a last round of beer and get out of the bar. We wanted to oblige him so we got the last round of questions from the guest at the pub that mostly consisted of the same story with the only difference I was told so many times about how these pilgrims went into a house and wound up cannibalising each other.
The only thing of note though was to these townspeople the pilgrims weren’t put upon while they hassled and harassed the townspeople they all agreed that they never deserved what happened to them in the end. Getting what we wanted from the bar we swallowed the last of the beer we ordered and hit the road.
The rest of the town ever bothered us much as we drove out of the place it was a typical small town where the only thing that ever seemed to give it life were the farmers market in the centre and the corner and the pub it was no wonder the house was the only thing of note your eyes and yourself can’t help but be drawn to it. If you were an outsider of course if you were a villager it was a thing that just loomed over watching you just beyond that hill as if it was a demon of old.
It drew everything towards it and it never seemed to let anything go once it had them. My train of thought was only broken by a sudden stop. We were twenty minutes out of town by a rough estimate but Michel treated me as he always did with a view. From up here on the mountainside, the town was a gorgeous hamlet that looked as if It was being caught in the grip of a hand.
That was an image mostly created by the way the mountain tried to incase the town. With the sunset adding to the town picturesque look. It was a snapshot that was eternally framed in time as these things tend to be. If you were to only ever see it from up on this mountain you wouldn’t even notice the people coming going dying being born you’d just see the town encased in a Godhand.
I felt myself being drawn into the security of the hand I wanted that I needed that. I was immediately pulled back to life when I felt a hand on my shoulder I could only really describe the touch as warm and comforting yet at the same time, my body jolted as if the action was invasive.
“Sir, you look as if you need some sleep are you honestly ok?” Michele asked.
“What oh yes yeah.” I was half dazed as I was saying this.
“You should get some sleep, sIr.” He was all doe-eyed I loved him when he was like this It was hard to argue with him because how could you argue with someone who wants your best wishes at heart.
“I will get some on the way to the house don’t worry.” I felt a longing in my stomach I never knew what it was for. It wasn’t even quelled went Michel went to kiss me if anything it just made it worse this is the security I wanted right. When he was done kissing me I fell for his solemn eyes. I loved him I knew that but he turned me inside out.
We got onto the carriage I never notice it until now but I felt the snow on my hands What stopped me from noticing this before.
“It’s old, isn’t it? Hows about we can snuggle up for some warmth together if that might help.”
I didn’t know how to take that response it just took me out of left field I didn’t deserve this, did I? I suck don’t I. I’m supposed to be alone, aren’t I?
“Thank you,” I replied. As we got into the carriage We made the next half of the journey to the house. It wasn’t a long one but it was something that never seemed to end while Michele’s shoulder gave me the warmth I wanted I was uncomfortable.
Not to mention one villager told us of the wendigo the creature that they reckon got the pilgrims in the end.
The only thing that distracted us that night were the sound of cries the reason they agitated us was that we thought they were wolves yet as we sat in the darkness I couldn’t help but hear the moans of humans. It was upsetting I tried to distract myself by burring my face in Michele’s shoulders. I think it was something that he appreciated. In our long journies together he always voiced how I should rely on him more and at this moment I always reckoned that he just let me. He was happy yet I wasn’t I wanted to be but my mind was being pulled to the sound of the rocks being crushed and churned beneath the wagon wheel. Why? Why?
I was rescued from these thoughts when Michele nudged me awake.
“UGghh where are we?” I asked.
“Well we are at the house sir” Michele replied.
The house now stood in front of us and for a place that housed so much horror, it was surprisingly normal and clean. It was unnerving as you’d imagine that the place would be a run-down dilapidated place where no one wanted to live. Yet it now looked as if people took care o it regularly and not a rose was kept out of place. I was unnerved I was constantly wondering if that was me or my expectations that did that.
However, if there was one thing that I expected that remained in place was the oppressive nature of the building. Given that the thing probably absorbed all the looks of the town and never cast anything back. I reckoned that this was something that would have existed regardless of any legends about the buildings it was one of those houses.
It was built to draw attention. We took our bags off the cart and went into the living room for a massive building the space inside felt very narrow it was almost as if I was being strangled as soon as I walked through the place. It was a weird contradiction that I could never get over. The blizzard outside didn’t help things either as I waited for Michele to return with some wood.
Witch hunts pilgrims and monsters witches pilgrims and monsters were the only things going through my brain. I’m trying to think of much else but my thoughts kept skipping and the only things that could get through were once again witches monsters and pilgrims. I was grateful when Michel returned with the wood for a fire but those hopes would be dashed when he managed to get a good fire going but it failed to warm the room frustrated and cold I went to bed where I fell into a dreamless cold sleep trying desperately to caress my partner to keep warm.
It was the one thing I wanted he had it I couldn’t feel it how was he able to produce it when I was a cold little man left alone by a world that didn’t want me. The patterns and the people around me made it that clear no one wanted me yet I was me. I wanted everyone to see me as such and I wouldn’t play by their rules if I meant that I would sacrifice a part of me. No, I thought that was a half-life.
17th of January 1860.
The thing about living in this hows is that you are finally able to record your thoughts for the first time in a while. This is a really valuable process to do if your lively hood revolves around recording patterns and your thought process. Granted there isn’t much to record these days other than the whole thing feels like a dream this revelation sent in when I saw Michele on the first day we spent in the house. The blizzard from that night dies down and the sun finally broke through this gave everything around it a warm glow. Despite the cold and the frost. And given how the light came from the window when he was standing in a doorway. Michele with his blonde hair and blue eyes looked like he was an angel descending from god to tell me it’s all right and the thing is he was that was all I wanted him to do and it’s why I loved him.
When he sat on the bed with me as I ate time its self slowed I never wanted it to stop until he asked me.
“Do you want to explore this house today or will I get you something from town?”
“I think I’ll explore I said you can get us some food.”
“Besides why would you want to go back or how can you deal with these people? I aked
“By being as far removed from myself as possible,” he replied.
“In what sense,” I asked?
“I can just shut down ompleatly and go through the motions sir. If anything the only time I can be alive is when I’m around you the rest of the time I’m just a dead man walking.”
That line through me for a loop and while I was in the loop Michele left here I was envious of a man who had to kill himself to survive and if I just ignored people to become a wretch what does that mean for me am I less than dead. I thought of that as I got up and started to explore the house I began by counting the rooms I got two immaculitly se up didning rooms and bare-bones entry room and a library that was partly a records room.
There wasn’t much to these rooms it was as if the house was new yet no one inhabited it I was guessing that that was the result of the riggerou caretaking the house went through sinc the library had records of the houses successful attempts to be recognised as a heritage site. The only other records that existed in the house were the diaries kept by the pilgrims and a row of contemporary literature at the benefactor of the house normally got. Yet as I walked through the house the only thing I ever felt was a huge build-up of anger and rage that started to seep into my feelings and before long I decided to return to bed earlier than I normally would and sank into an unusual sleep that was a bunch of stops and starts.
20th of January.
These last few days were very weird but first I do need to mention one thing the blizzard that the last few days threatened came in full force no and we are locked down for the next few days to a week. While I can be used to the isolation I can’t help but feel It getting to me especially when it is mixed with the already existing feelings of anger and righteousness in the house. Everything is my fault it’s my fault and the villagers are responsible for this too. I had a conversation with Michele the other night and he was telling me how they were already saying that we are cursed. Well if we are so cursed why did they let us up to the house why didn’t they burn it. What’s the point of my research anyways. Why is it so bloody cold? The only information I got by coming up here was stuff I already knew and we can’t leave. Because of the blizzard, what are we going to do?
The only thing that has been keeping me sane is Michele yes sweet sweet Michele He is the only constant in this pattern of unending misery. I love him I do.
21st of January
This was another weird day it started fine I think. I just remember that Michele came back. He reported on how the town started to see us I remember him telling me that the villagers are becoming suspicious of the house and its occupants. He also expressed how they liked him and not me they were all suspicious of me. It was a thing I already knew. Why would they not be inherently suspicious of me? I mean I am just a dude who took up residence in this house I want to get out but I’m resigned to this space I can’t get out. Yet can I get out I’m stuck here that is why I love Michele he can do all the things I want to do? Or do I desire not to do this? Why do I want to not go out I’m fine with everything yet why do people just hate me. I’d be fine with it if they just told me why. I have numerous guessing games and now this house rejects me. To get to the story at hand I remembered I was in the corridor between the library. I mapped the house by the emotions I felt in a very room. When I got to the library I could feel a sense of isolation I mapped it to a feminine emotion. I felt that there was a girl in here that died my heart just felt empty like it was drained of all life. Yet as I walked into this room I felt a pang of anger it was unknown to me at least in this area. It never came from fury though it was empty. It was as if someone was crying and they had nothing left to cry about and if that was anger it was an uncomftrable at least rage you can deal with I thought.
I wanted to get out of this so I l decided to down the hall and to the stairs I passed through the doors I mapped out the numbers when I arrived at the house it was 1,2,3,4,12. And as I walked through this time I didn’t note it but as I descended the stairs I saw the same numbers again I never took notice of this because if you see something twice it’s an anomaly that you can just shrug off it doesn’t really matter. Yet as I descended the stairs to return to the living room the third time that was when I took notice of the pattern. On the fifth time, I thought I was freaking out I wanted to stop I wanted to get out my fingers and hands were shaking my foot was twitching. I went down a sixth time and that was when I started to hyperventilate. I needed to get out of the maze started to construct its self around my brain. Lost I’m lost I want to get out I need to get out my feet started to weigh like a tonne of bricks.
Every step started to sink and me trying to pick up my foot every step now took effort I just wanted to disappear I wanted to fade & I wanted to disappear. The only time I felt solid was when I heard someone call my name. It was Michele it was a piercing noise I never wanted to hear as I fell to the ground that an odd sense of comfort I was giving up and it felt good. It’s what I wanted yet as I passed out I fell into Michele’s arms. `
2nd of February
This was another weird night yes it was weirder than the hall with the repeating numbers Michele made another trip to the town. He kept coming back with more stories about the house and the people mainly us. Was amazed that in three days I already warped from a curmudgeon to a wicked old man doing an eldritch ritual to summon the wendigo it was I told him that that would be cool if it was true since I didn’t have to spend another night in the house investigating these legends I could escape.
And so when Michele made his next trip into town I set about wondering the house yet again this time I just took to the house’s first floor and when I got to the corridor that separates the back of the dining hall from the kitchen. It wasn’t particularly long but it was narrow to the point where it felt like it was choking you from just standing in it. It was an odd experience but I prefferd that to wide-open spaces in fact while I was in here I always felt as if I could bath happier. It was a warmer feeling than last time too and that was of course courtesy of the fire in the dining hall.
I was only inhabiting the corridor because I often liked to pase while I read since reading for too long gave me ack cramps and the corridor was the perfect place for me to do so as it wasn’t too wide for me to be distracted and it was narrow enough for the words of the text to fully absorb me. And because of the book, I felt as if I ignored the very early warning signs that were to transpire tonight.
The first one was well the noise that a creature made it was that odd mix between a bad screech and a human scream that always made my spine shiver I knew the creature would come now. Yet that wasn’t what made me think that everything was wrong at the time that only really started to creep in when I noticed an odd bit of cold air creep down my spine. I thought that this was odd since my previous trips down this corridor led me to expect a normal warmth.
Yet that was still not the weirdest thing to happen as the corridor started to get longer and as I kept walking down it my eyes were drawn to the walls and with each step I took icicles started to form. At first, I only seemed to catch a glimpse of the patches of ice on the walls but as I walked and waled my hands started to shake and clamp up and as they grew and grew the cold started cheeping around my body it was strangling whatever warmth I managed to get out of me as I took more and more steps my body grew more numb the warmth left everywhere. As it left I could hear the scratches again this drove the last bit of comfort I ever felt out of my body.
So as I moved ever forward my legs slowly started to break my body begged for the warmth it couldn’t get yet for some reason I was drawn more and more to the noise so I left my quest for the fire in search of the noise with the freaky thing being how the layout of the house seemed to change I was no longer comforted by the patterns I knew but the odd sense of something I never wanted I wanted to find out what this thing was but I couldn’t. yet I pushed myself withr it was for the comfort of warmth or the comfort of knowing I will never know.
As I walked I now swathe the door it was just like the one I remembered I was glad to find something I recognized in this maelstrom. Yet as I recognised the door the cries around me shied they no longer sounded the same to me they were Michele’s. The creature got him I panicked I started to claw and claw at the door I had to save him I had to. He was the only thing that mattered I rammed the door my shoulder stung. As I hit the door river and over not realising how it finally came open.
When it opened I saw it. The beast wasn’t the giant wold that I was led to expect the thing was a fetal like creature that reminded me of a hairless corpse. With several of them eating of the same dead carcass I let out a scream. The horrors of the foul creatures while I tried to describe them above were beyond reproach. I tried to run but I was transfixed by them and when I picked up the courage to flee I couldn’t they were on top e biting and clawing at me. I couldn’t tell you what happened in the maelstrom of violence that fell on me but the last thing I remember was being found y the villagers and brought to the inn where was nursed back to health. Yet I know I’ll nr feel better despite my confusing feelings towards Michele at the end so I’m going back to be with my love. And to assume my place in the history of suffering for this house to stand. If my family reads this the only act of defiance I’ll ever commit will be to tell them to fuck off so with that I wish the reader a sweet Adeu.
sheamcc2 